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Therapy with MEN

Your paycheck keeps rising and your “toys” keep growing, but there’s a mismatch between how accomplished you are on the outside and how unhappy you feel on the inside. 

When you look around, you see the successful life you have worked so hard to create, but you feel disconnected from who you have become and from the people you share that “success” with. It’s like you’re watching your life from the spectator seats and you feel like you are losing the game despite the winning score.

You weren’t always this confused and lost. Before, when things in life didn’t go right, you were able to brush it off or find a quick-fix solution. It wasn’t like you to wallow or spin in a tornado of self-doubt and negativity. In fact, you are great at problem solving and can MacGyver your way through most problems. But, balancing the needs of self and family/relationships is harder. You can’t quite figure out the switches to flick or the knobs to turn to make them work. You often feel like you are failing your spouse or kids as you struggle to meet their needs while also tending to the demands of being a provider. 

Somewhere along the way, you started to believe that you were just better at work stuff than family stuff, so you invested more time and energy in your job. You are really good at clear, task-oriented goals and you excel at reaching them. At work, you feel like a winner.

But at home, you get feedback that you aren’t around enough, attentive enough or helping enough. And when you are around and trying, you feel like your opinions are ignored, your kids don’t respect you and your spouse just barely tolerates you being in the house. You aren’t sure you are even seen or wanted, so you have started to wonder if maybe you aren’t cut out for family life.

Now, here you are afraid you’re never going to feel like you matter more than the paycheck you bring home. And to make matters worse, you don’t even like the guy you have become in your quest to provide for your family. He’s kind of boring and negative.

That’s not to say you thought life was perfect before. Everyone has their good days and their bad days and you’re no exception, but you never thought you’d become so stuck and stereotypical.

You never expected that you could feel so insignificant, so small. You never predicted you’d be so stuck! You had no idea you’d become depressed and you certainly didn’t expect these struggles to keep you from enjoying the family life you have worked so hard for.

When you seek individual counseling with me at Therapy Mudita:

       You will experience a supportive space where you can connect more deeply with a full range of emotions that may be unfamiliar or confusing.

         You will feel permission to set aside any “macho” or “strong” ideas that limit you and learn to embrace the strength available in a blend of toughness and softness together.

       You will learn how to respond with less reactivity and anger in frustrating situations by building the skills to thoughtfully speak and act from a place of clarity and truth.

       You will gain a greater understanding of the way that you interpret the world and learn how to use that insight to give you more room for compassionate growth and change.

       You will learn how to show up more in relationships with an openness and confidence to be the kind of partner and parent you want to be (without losing your manhood!)

 

Individual therapy is intended to help you gain insight to your struggles so you can make informed and deliberate changes in your thinking and actions that bringer you closer to your goals.

Together you and I will work to develop your ability to take intentional direction in your life. You and I will meet together weekly or biweekly and you will learn how to trust your inner wisdom, speak from your truth and interact more authentically.